your body always knows which partners are right for you.
your disgust response, your physical withdrawing, your gag reflex, a general feeling of unease - these things shouldn’t be ignored or bulldozed when you are considering a man or woman, and if you have a lot of sexual trauma, or if you have used transactional relationships to survive, or if you are used to having no boundaries and thinking you need to be a nice person who “gives them a chance” - you will ignore your body and it’s signals to you.
don’t do that. consider this your permission to say no to anyone who gives you the “ick”.
friendly advice to not revolve your life around one person, one feeling, one place, one memory, one problem. the complexity of life and the diversity of the world is beautiful and you have the right to explore it. do not settle for less. you deserve better.
1. Beyoncé The Making of the Album Dangerously In Love: Beyonce is a hardworking woman, watching her focus on her craft is inspirational. I’m not a huge fan but she’s a true boss. She literally worked hard to get where she is now and this video is a prime example.
2. NICKI MINAJ | My Time Now Documentary: Another example of a hard-working woman. Nicki is questionable at times but this video shows the era of her that was stan-worthy. She’s a hardworking boss and this video showed that even though she went through trial and error she still kept going!!! Preaches some gems in this documentary too.
3. Naomi Campbell interviewed by Barbara Walters: I LOVE this interview with muva Naomi. Naomi’s personality traits are definitely something to study, she’s very confident and doesn’t let anyone twist her words. This is one of my absolute favorite interviews of her!
4. Jay-Z and Dean Baquet, in Conversation: Gems after gems are dropped in this video. Jay Z TRASH but he’s a billionaire, he really gives great advice and you can tell he’s knowledgable about money.
5. Damen Dash’s Breakfast Club Interview: If you ever need some quick inspiration and you’re feeling lazy PLEASE watch this interview in full! Damen Dash is ALWAYS dropping gems in his interviews about being a hard worker. He’s very blunt but he’s very smart!!
6. Saweetie Visits NYC Interview: My FAVORITE interview with Saweetie! This is why I love her because she’s a hard worker and this video shows how much ambition she has. Must watch!!
We’re less than a month away from the New Year, and as such, it is important that we begin to set the foundations and plans we have to not only succeed, but make 2023 a memorable year.
Regardless of how 2022 went for you, regardless of how many goals you were able to achieve, a new year marks a new beginning. Do not beat yourself over how things went, focus on how you can improve them moving forward.
In 2023 we’re:
Spending less time being passive scrollers online. The pandemic is over, the world is back in action and so must we. It’s time to stop letting our minds be consumed by the opinions of thousands of people on the internet. More often than not, the things we read online come from the psyche of mentally unwell individuals, and given social media’s tendency to prompt out the voices of the most unhinged, it gives people that shouldn’t have a platform a false sense of authority. In 2023 we’re getting off the grid as much as we can and reconnecting with the real world. We will not allow this online façade to swallow us into its void any longer.
Spending more time learning and engaging in high-end activities and hobbies that can elevate our social circle and our taste. Things like polo matches, pilates, ballet, opera, piano classes, poetry, political forums, martial arts, and high-intensity sports, among other things. It is crucial to cultivate a persona that engages in a variety of fulfilling activities that can bring us joy but also help us grow as individuals.
Prioritizing our health and fitness. No more excuses, it’s time to cut down on added sugar and refined carbs, time to eat more nutrient-dense whole foods, drink plenty of water daily, invest in vitamin injections every other month, take supplements to improve our body’s collagen production, and overcome feelings of laziness by pushing ourselves through fitness goals. 2023 we will make of the gym our sanctuary.
Living below our budget and investing as much as we can. If you haven’t already, get a financial advisor, develop long and short-term financial goals and get organized with your income. It doesn’t matter if in the past you’ve felt like your financial habits have not been the most adequate, it’s never too late to take control of them and be responsible. We owe to ourselves to spend wisely to have the peace of mind financial security brings. Never go broke trying to impress others.
We’re no longer entertaining inadequate men. I must admit I’m guilty of this myself. After years of not dating, getting back into the dating scene has felt extremely disappointing and tiring. Most prospects are simply not up to par with the standards I have and what I want out of my life partner. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become desperate to build these types of romantic relationships that we begin to overlook the things that we really want deep down. In 2023, we’re refocusing our attention on living our best lives and being as active as possible in real-life events as touched upon previously, and trust that the right dating prospects will present themselves when we least expect. We attract, we don’t chase.
Finally, we’re overcoming negative self-talk patterns that hinder our growth. We’re investing in therapy, we’re unlearning the limiting beliefs that keep us in bondage to people, routines, and views of the world that are not good for us. We have to put an end to the insidious lie of the scarcity mindset, overcome past traumas, and look forward to the good things that are yet to come.
There are many more things I could add to this list, but for now, these are the things I and I know many of you will find helpful on improving on for the year to come. These lists can come out as intimidating to some people, but we have to remember that we are not expected to become the ideal version of ourselves overnight. Growth is a marathon, not a sprint, and it requires consistency. Each day that you wake up and choose to do one or two things differently you’re making stride towards that better you. No improvement is ever too little.
Let’s make 2023 a memorable year, and every year afterwards.
One passage to a lighter mood is massaging a baked sweet potato in olive oil and keeping it nice and simple w honey goat cheese and grass fed butter and cinnamon and red pepper
